OK guys just so you know I don't know is this is a wide issue. I have this every time an new update hits release. my steam will update Star Made whether I want it or not, even if I set it through steam to only update when I launch it, now I assumes like everyone else that means ONLY when I actually tell the launcher to perform the update. this is not the case. steams launcher will update Star Made whether I wish it or not. now there are other games which do allow you to turn all updated completely off if you desire. how these games do it I don't know. but maybe we need this to be an option from Valve.
I just was told that this only occurs when you set the launcher to install from the steam directory. I can confirm this is so. but as it is a case where Steam is not telling its launcher what the StarMade launcher is doing, this is purely a Valve issue likely we cant fix cause they do not under any circumstance cooperate with developers to fix these kinds of bugs.
there is a workaround and that is to set the install directory away from steam.